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cass0180 asked on 2/8/2010 4:24:58 PM Report this post
I dont know why but i cant seem to calm down, and i feel like if i dont im decreasing my chances of conceiving. any ideas how to calm myself everyday without making it something too extensive? im so nervous all day and i dont want to feel so tired and mess it up! i have 7 days til I O so please advice!

christiljames said on 2/8/2010 9:16:03 PM Report this post
Cass I deal with extreme anxiety at times. Im also very very Obsessive Compulsive. Did I mention very? lol

Some things that help me. Cut caffeine it makes me nervous as heck. Sometimes outright grouchy and mean. You may feel a little more tired but if it works for you like it does for me you wont be so nervous.

Hmm... Other things. Psychologically there is something called Flow. Basically its finding something you like to do that immerses you in the activity in such a way that you stop worrying about other things and focus solely on the activity. If you can try and find something like that for you. For some its exercise. Others it could be a computer game. Maybe painting. My thing is silly web browser games. I can basically zone anything out doing them.

The other thing is that some believe there is a difference between worrying and rumination. Basic worrying involves being concerned about something in the future that is reasonable. We all want to be sure to take the appropriate actions to avoid negative outcomes whenever we can.

Rumination, which I am a pro at, is like worry but its turning things over and over again in your mind quite obessively. Another key component is that you start worrying into the future based on past experiences.

The rule of thumb I learned in one class is to think about something for a couple minutes or so if it can't be resolved or it just seems like needless worry from the bat try to shift your thoughts to something else. I tend to dwell and dwell on things which is extremely stressful and doesnt get much accomplished. I struggle with this on a daily basis and also worry about the effects on TTC.

Basically do what you can to try and shift your thoughts is the simpliest thing I can suggest that I am trying. Im by far worry/rumination free but not quite as stressed. Good luck :)

x Babydust
Christi

Mara04 said on 2/8/2010 10:28:24 PM Report this post
I suffer from severe anxiety disorders, and I'm so impressed with all that you've said to handle it. That is so so awsome. I'm the famous ruminator too! I've been trying really hard to lessen my dependency on xanax and you've given me other things to work on to instead of turning to my meds. Thanks so much for this. Even though I'm not TTCing anxiety is still a part of my daily life and make life hard to live at times. I'm impressed beyond words, thanks Christi.

cass0180 said on 2/9/2010 9:38:50 AM Report this post
Thank you Christi! I will try some of these things you said, i think im a bit of the ruminator as you said i tend to poke at things and think of them over and over til im just exhausted! Thnks so much for your help!

christiljames said on 2/9/2010 10:23:56 AM Report this post
Mara and Cass you are very welcome :) Sometimes it helps to just to talk about it and know that you are not alone and that it isnt something you just see on medication commercials lol :)...

Mara, I use to take xanax and I was sooooo tired all the time. I didn't handle that well. Also, wellbutrin. Sadly one of the side effects of that for me was anxiety! Also I experienced alot of forgetfulness/cloudiness. I couldn't deal with that because I needed to pass 5 finals :(... Needless to say it was a give and take either I felt tired with xanax or was stressing more without it. I hate being very tired just slightly more than stressing lol.

As far as Rumination, I think for many psychological distresses, sometimes just being able to name what is going on helps us to cope. I personally see it as healthy worry/unhealthy worry. Rumination of course the unrealistic and/or obsessive worry that distresses us in an unreasonable way thus making it unhealthy. It really is destructive to our well-being very much like catastrophic thinking. A feeling of impending doom even for some I imagine as I have experienced that also. Seeing it for what it is, quite often irrational, does help me sometimes.

Its good to know we have one another to talk to :)
<3
Christi

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