You are Here: Message Boards > Pregnancy Chat > Why can't I be happy for others? =(


linriyum asked on 4/22/2009 9:01:14 PM Report this post
I was having a major depressing day...just found out 2 girls are pregnant one friend and one fam. I just can't get to the point where I'm happy for them! I want to be, but honestly it feels like they are playing a racing game and it pisses me off...like they were trying to see who could get pregnant first (they don't know that we're trying). It's like they had to keep up with the other girls around them...anyone know what I mean? I really don't care but I just can't be happy and fake.

heatherohmy said on 4/22/2009 9:05:43 PM Report this post
I know EXACTLY what you mean, I feel the same way, I am to the point where I am happy for them but then I feel resentment also. Only with the people who brag about it though, especially if they know I am TTC

wishingonstars said on 4/22/2009 9:10:12 PM Report this post
oh yes i do know what you mean and how you are feeling...everyone around me is having babies...my fam and friends....although i am happy for them, it just hurts your heart when you want it so bad and it seems someone just waved a magic wand over them and *poof* they are prego. keep your head up....our day will come! some times it just takes talking to someone who is feeling what u are to raise ur spirtis, im here for ya anytime!

sabby said on 4/22/2009 9:16:11 PM Report this post
linriyum- I think many of us feel that way. It is a shame when woman try to prove to each that they can get pregnant before the other one does. Another thing that tears at me is the woman who have babies and does not even want them. I'm sorry I guess I should not go there but it is something that I think about here and there. Keep your chin up, here is a hug to you!!!! :O)

linriyum said on 4/22/2009 9:56:39 PM Report this post
thanks girls! You're the best! I guess it just sucks because we have stopped "trying" so it might take even longer, which is the best thing for us but sometimes I feel like because I'm not getting any younger and the pressure of everyone else I feel like I'm slipping into their "race" UGH! why can't everyone get pregnant when they want to!

I'm trying some new herbs etc to detox and get my libido so we will see how I feel! This is kind of my priority right now since it's not fun to make love when you're not in the mood!

mkate8 said on 4/22/2009 10:10:28 PM Report this post
i feel the same way, i think that it is so normal! It is so hard to look around and feel that eveyone has a baby or is prego. It really feels that way. How do people get prego so easy or worse, on acccident??? I just can't wait until...my turn!! Good luck to you, maybe it will just happen right??

momoflad said on 4/23/2009 3:41:18 AM Report this post
Hey sorry its been a rough day but i know totally what your going through.. i would have days i would cry because i wasn't pregnant and people on here were getting BFP's left and right. and a few friends were also!! I wanted to be them but it wasn't happening.. Thats why a site like this should be just for ttc and no pregnancy because it gets you in the upset mood every now and then because of others that are pregnant.. i got so jelous when people would start talking about pregnacy and all..

I hope things go well and happen soon for you! And also linriyum who knows since you stopped trying and all it might just happen! we got our bfp when we stopped trying

good luck and lots of baby dust!!

kar said on 4/23/2009 8:13:47 AM Report this post
I am sorry that you are feeling down. It's easy to question the whys and wonder when your time will come. We all have been there - but on the flip side I think that it is hugely important to stay positive. Stress and frustration are not ideal for a BFP.

momoflad I actually disagree. I have been on this site for a long time and yes, there are days when it's hard to see BFPs but there are also days like when Xonora and User got their BFPs that give us hope. Knowing that others are going through this process really helps.

As women it's important that we not see ttc as a race. It will happen when it happens - some ladies are blessed with amazing fertility while others have to wait. I prefer to see that there are things to be learned along the way = and friendships to be made.

Good luck Linriyum - I am sure your time is coming soon.

linriyum said on 4/23/2009 9:29:49 AM Report this post
Today is a little better! Yea, I like seeing BFP's on this site! I don't know why but it's so easy to be happy for someone you don't know! I have made great friends on this site and am and would be truly happy for all of your bfp's! It's funny, when I was getting dresses this morning I say all the tests I bought 2 cycles ago because I thought for sure it was it...we even cancelled a vay-k because I was sure I was pregnant and then af came =/
But I saw those tests and I didn't get sad, it was just a feeling of "ah, whenever!" At least I don't have to spend the money again for awhile!

DH and I talked last night about how I was feeling ad I told him I think it was just all hitting me that day that I'm not pregnant yet and it's been a year since being off bcp's! Does anyone else feel sort of embarrassed when it's taken longer than 5 months? I feel like if and when I get pregnant, I want to lie about how long it took? Anyone else?

heatherohmy said on 4/23/2009 9:30:35 AM Report this post
I see both sides of the situation, I am happy when the ladies on here get their BFP's because I know that we are/were all in the same boat and I also think that there should be a board for just pregnancy that way no one has their feeling hurt/upset.

kar said on 4/23/2009 9:47:29 AM Report this post
lol - I know that feeling Lin, when you are talking to people and they start digging - it makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable. But why should anyone feel bad about that? I think that it's bc women who have ttc for a while don't usually talk about it and we only hear the good news. People don't adverise the fact that they are trying. That's why I love this site - it's so supportive and so many of us have had to work at it. It's comforting to know that it takes all kinds. Glad you are feeling better.

user786 said on 4/23/2009 11:52:48 AM Report this post
it took me and my husband years before we got our very first bfp.......why would anyone want to lie about how long it would take?

The fact that we got our bfp is what mattered....not how long it took!

the reason why my bfp means so much to me is because apart from my husband i have NO family........LOL.......i'm just typing away whatever my brain is telling me to write.........i'm bored.

paitence is a virtue.......


wishingonstars said on 4/23/2009 2:52:31 PM Report this post
linyrum- I also feel a little embarassed and maybe a little ashamed...every one around me in my fam keeps asking and i just want to cry every time i get a little to upset about it (in privacy) my fam just keeps saying were all so fertile and so far nothing for me, i have cousins who are yourger than me by far like 16 with no husband or father around having babies and here i am 27 married and no BPF yet. i'll tell ya some times i have to just shake my head and think the lord works in mysterious ways!

Mara04 said on 4/23/2009 7:31:38 PM Report this post
we ttc'd for a yr before concieving and i would despise seeing pregnany women. it wasnt fair. then my SIL got pregnant at 16 and i lost it. I was devestated and that was an unusual feeling for me, jealousy. i hated it. but its normal. i think its also healthy as long as you arent taking it out on the pregnant ones. I can assure you it will happen and one dayyou will be sitting here like i am now thanking god you arent pregnant anymore LOL

wishingonstars said on 4/24/2009 3:26:43 PM Report this post
i hear ya!

globug27 said on 4/24/2009 5:11:51 PM Report this post
hi lini, ditto and yes I've had all of your emotions, and... more than once =/ ... I had a friend (who KNOWS we're ttc) I was talking about how sassy our 9yo DD has been and she just interupts and says 'THATS B/C SHE'S AN ONLY CHILD, YOU SHOULD JUST ADOPT ANOTHER CHILD ALREADY"....it took everything the Lord has given me (which is everything, praise Jesus!) to not throw her down and stomp on her unmarried-no children-no boyfriend face! Anywho - I too am glad we have this site and circle of peeps we can talk with and share... Thanks for always being there for me =] Love ya, ttyl gloria <><

mkate8 said on 4/24/2009 10:11:21 PM Report this post
oh it is so nice to see all these gals feeling this way! We had a mc a while back and we were not even trying! I guess I thought that because of that once we started trying it would just happen right away! Now that it is taking some time it is just so hard to wait. When you are ready you are ready NOW. I too am happy and hopeful to see the BFP's that others are turning up but it is still hard. Really hard.

melissadavis said on 4/25/2009 9:24:38 AM Report this post
Hi all,
its nice to see that i'm not the only one who has mixed feelings when a friend or family ends up prego and months go by and i'm not. I really get upset when the friends that do get prego(complain about it everyday). Me and the dh have been trying for almost 2 years and every month brings dissapointment. But hopefully soon it will happen

Cindi said on 4/25/2009 10:46:59 AM Report this post
I totally understand how you feel! It too 21 months of trying to get pregnant with the little one I'm carrying right now. A couple months after we had started trying, my sister got pregnant with her first, on her first try. Then, when I was 3 months along with this one, she announced that they were pregnant again, and without really trying again. Even though I was already pregnant, I was still frustrated and upset because it was SO easy for her and we had to struggle and suffer for so long. And it's not that I wished that she had had to experience the same thing I did, because I wouldn't wish that on anyone! I was just really jealous and wished that I had it easier!

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