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erikalee638 asked on 5/12/2009 12:19:46 AM Report this post
SIL is 23 and my hubby is 22 and i am 21....so....my SIL is very controling and she is older than my husband and wanted to have the first everything... so here i go on my own rant.. when She found out that i was pregnant...a few weeks before our wedding... her response was : "oh, wow. I thought it would be hard for you to have kids." - no congratulatoins or anything. We told her before our parents and and my twin sister...well because i was really close with her... now... waaaaayyy different story. anyhow... during the wedding she was telling everyone how shes going to be this great aunt, and all that chummy stuff... then i hear again a few hours later that she would have done things all differently and she will not make a mistake like us. then that our wedding will be nohing when she gets married because she WILL get what she wants. ok so i get over it but still spend my night after my wedding crying because i feel like she hates me now. anyhow... later comes on and shes alllll nice to me her and my mother in law have a baby shower for me but they decide that my family and their family do something different at different times...so yeah i had two baby showers... yeah they were indeed at both because i had no choice to have them at both... brought gifts and realllly reallly nice... then to hear from other family members that they are comparing what my family gave to me was amounted to nothing that their family was going to their new grandchild... ok here it goes i get up and go to this shower... they have a sit down baby shower, have me on display like i am a freak of nature and they bring out a ROLLING RACK FILLED WITH BABY CLOTHES... i was sooo greatful...of coarse i was... but they brought it so everyone could see what they did, the SIL gave me a diaper cake and decided that she was going to keep it for a few more week so she could show everyone at work... blah blah, so needless to say i couldnt have my diapercake, but i had to dress my kid in some really yucky outfits... i didnt shop for anything in the begining because if i wanted something she would tell me to save my money its more inportant for us to save money for the baby. call me an ungreatful bitch but i really wanted to by things for my baby i was really excited, and then they would put it back on the rack and buy something that they wanted. :( so i let it go and hold my feelings in again and again.... i get to the time where i am going to have my baby.... my first baby and for god sake i am scared. i had just found out that i was gopin to have a c section and i am emotional...so i decided that i dont want anyone there till after i have the baby...so here i am ready to go in for surgery and my MIL SIL FIL and of course my mom my dad and my twin sister all in the waiting room before... my mother in law decided that she wants to come and see me no matter what and shes going to be there whether i want to...Eddie (my husband tells her no) so she decided that i hurt her feelings... hell i didnt want my mom there either! i do better when i dont have to stress and i can just try and relax! anyhow i have the baby and i am in recovery... eddie goes and tells then that everything is fine and they cant wait to see the baby so they try to sneek in behind him in recovery to see the baby... so mad i am because they are trying to interupt the first little bit of time i have alone with my very first baby boy... now im upset again go figure. we get to my room and they want to hold the baby wit hout washing their hands...no cool with me... they get to hold him of coarse before my parents because he was named after my husband his dad and his dads dad. so i have this baby that i didnt get to pick his clothes or his name...still upset but i have my son and i love him unconditionally well because hes my son and my best accoplishment. so i get over that everything is good... times goes by still having a hard time getting over how they didnt like the way i parent and how i should do things differently and how he should be catholic and i dont want him to be because we go to my church and not theirs and that not the religion we practice... that my FIL should be god father! i never even heard of that... and my SIL be god mother... i dont know about you but i have a twin sister that would be absolutley devistated... then my SIL drops my son down the steps and fractures his scull... here i am the very first time i leave him alone so i can go out and do the dreaded first pants i can fit into after having a baby jeans buying and get a call to get home right now... and everyone is worried about my SIL and not me and my son. i had to pretend i wasnt angry because its not like she did it on purpose. we get over it times goes on i find out that i am pregnant again.... SIL's response : " I hope its not a girl because i would like at least on of the firsts. you got the wedding first you got the baby first the first boy and the handed down name". i just looked at her in awe. so i let it go and say ya. that would be nice for you. So now i am having another boy...shes obviously elated so she gets on if the firsts... even thought shes been dating a guy for a few months and has only been with him for 3 months and the rest hes been in iraq, doing the cheating thing and shes distracting him from defending our country because shes always on his ass about something, and now they are talking about marriage and moving in together right when he gets home! anyhow... so shes planning her wedding and she and all this and that picking her dress and ring and asking him about kids... lol ....so the other day she gave me a list of names i couldnt name my second baby because they are names that shes always wanted for her boys. i come home and break down in tears. the next day is EJ, my sons 1st birthday party and she leaves a message on line, "At EJ's birthday party, GOD HELP ME" wanna cry again. and she has the nerve to envite after i told her that it wasnt a good idea that i would rather her not, now had her boyfriends parents at my sons first birthday party to meet her mom and dad for the very first time. not cool. so shes taking EJ away from the other kids playing to show her bf's parents that shes going to be a good mom or some shit and takes him away from the excitment of his very first birthday party...mad again....i know i didnt mention this before but shes a consistent liar and does it for attention... like the time shes "got attacked by a deer in the drive way" or the other day when "the old man at the gym faked having a heart attack so she would give him mouth to mouth" and many other things that im not even going to go into... my my hubby wants to know why i am so bitter towards her and i dont want my son staying at my inlaws with my SIl and their parents.... i am so fed up and i think its going to tear us apart... i want to let it go but when i see her with EJ shes this fake person... i wonder if shes ever going to change. It just upsts me and i dont want my son to be let down like i have in the past. oh and did i mention that she bought him a big thing of goldfish crackers a gallon of milk and a gallon of apple juice for his birthday...and told everyone that thats what he really needed for his birthday not toys. so now i am an unfit parent, i cant provide for my son, but i have to walk on pins and neddles around my inlaws because i am an emotional person and anything is bound to make me cry. ugh. thanks for letting me vent. im am prego and tired all the time.. i dont know if its my nerves getting to me over all of this or just that its just not nice... i havent talkeot anyone else about this because i dont want to sound like a bitch lol and i dont want it to get back to them that i feel this way but i really am still upset over it all!


erikalee638 said on 5/12/2009 12:20:25 AM Report this post
long post i know.. im really sorry, but i really dont have anyone else that will listen to me over all of these things lol.

w8ing2conceive said on 5/12/2009 2:12:30 AM Report this post
Wow. all I can say is WOW!

I think you are a DAMN strong woman! I personally would have TORN her to shreds! RIGHT OFF THE BAT! Not trying to get all "psychological" or anything but she sounds like she might have problems! lol. I suspect a severe case of narcissism! Im not a professional or anything, but Id almost bet on it! What I dont understand is how your DH cant see why you feel that way about her? =/ Not saying that he HAS to share your opinion ( which I see NO reason for him not to) being she IS his SISTER and there is always 2 sides to a story....

IDK... just thought it would be nice to leave some kind of feedback!
You deserve at least that! =D GL! <>< hope your venting helped!


tiffbethwood said on 5/12/2009 8:22:52 AM Report this post
Geese........ I know how this upsets you and do believe you are justified in your frustrations. I can't believe she gave you a list of do not name your baby this! What a biatch..your first and thats that you can and should do whtever you want with your children and your life for that matter!!! I seriously think you need to tell her to back off and honestly I know its hard with inlaws bc you dont want to dissapoint or hurt feelings but wtf she doesnt care about hurting you. If DH does not want to defend you bc its his family then you need to do it, tell her what you do is none of her business and that although you understand her input its really not nescisary and just makes things harder. UGH I am getting all fired up for you!!! Do you want me to call her!? LOL hahaha:)

sabby said on 5/12/2009 9:02:28 AM Report this post
erikalee- What does your husband say about all this????? He should put her in her DAMN place. I would not listen to her it sounds like she is jeolous of you. People can be very arrogrant. I really do think she is envious and she knows that she can torture you this way. My MIL is the same way with me now we do not communicate with her what so ever. My husband basically told his mom that since she can not treat me right, we want her to stay away. I have not seen her for over 3 years and the same for my husband. I am a big believer that if certain people make our liver miserable we have the right to choose if we want to be around them or not. Family or friends it doesn't matter. Yes it was difficult for awhile with other family memebers but eventually everything calmed down and the other members excepted our decision to stay away from her. You husband needs to say something, soon!!! It is his sister right? If you are an emotion individual he needs to step in for you. You are his family now. AS we marry someone we start our new family and build from there and that is the family that is important. WE can not choose our family member but we can choose if we want to associate with them. Hang in there you are better than her by far !!!!!!! :O)

nicoleglidden said on 5/12/2009 9:14:40 AM Report this post
Awww hunny I feel so bad for you! She sounds like an ass! I honestly don't think you have done anything wrong and if you don't feel that your son should be around your in-laws and SIL then that is your choice. Have you talked to your hubby about everything she says and does? And as far as the name thing, you obviously know you have the right to name your son anything that you want. I would tell her to go to hell.

It is soooo obvious that she is soooo jealous of you and is trying to compete, but she is just to stupid to realize that your not playing her games.

Don't let any of them come between you and YOUR family.

Mara04 said on 5/12/2009 3:12:13 PM Report this post
ok, umm wow lol first off anyone ever dropped my kid, its hands off for good. honestly you need to shut her out of your life. you have enough children to deal with! lol god she sounds so immature i'm sorry but i'm laughing at how pathetic she sounds. i can just see her throwing a fit if she gets pregnant with a boy lol My mil threw me a shower with 5 people, none of whom i knew, just so she could look good for her church group. that was 3 years ago and she hasnt seen my son in almost a year. she doesnt care. dont let her get you down, she'll get hers.. Find it funny like i do, cause she thinks shes an "adult" LOL

erikalee638 said on 5/13/2009 12:48:39 AM Report this post
im so glad to see that its not me that looks like the ass... of coarse i thought i was right all along... but i wasnt sure lol. My husband trys to keep the peace with everyone.. i do too of coarse but he lets everything go and dosent take a thing to heart... however i take everything to heart. Hes always sticking up for his family, and always telling me to just try and be nice... WELL IM DAMN SICK OF BEING NICE AT THIS POINT! I told him the other day that i dont want EJ around them alone and i dont want him sleeping over there for sleepovers that when he gets older that would be more appropriate, that right now he loves his crib and its not his rutine to be sleeping over other peoples houses when i want my son in the same house as us. Alot of that has to do with them having 2 dogs also... they have a german shorthair pointer and a putbull mix... they are both annoying and dont listen to a damn thing and they have a cat and i am deathly alergic to cats... everytime i go over there i am sick when i get home... i dont want EJ to have an allergy to cats... but i do at the same time lol anyhow... my biggest worry is that they are going to tear my marriage apart because i dont know how much more i can take. I love his parents and they are very nice to me at times... but his mom still effing calls to see if i made dinner and what hes eaten all day and what ejs had... hell im no chef and i hate cooking but its not going to stop me from feeding my husband my son and my unborn baby boy! ugh. i think i need a vacation away from them!

mroossinck said on 5/13/2009 8:07:44 AM Report this post
Have you tried having a sit down with you MIL and tell her how what she is doing is making you feel? My MIL wasn't nearly as bad as your just controling, one Christmas she told me that if I didn't move my baby shower to a different date it would be my fault if we didn't have a family Christmas at their house. I stewed on it for a few days, and then I called her and let her have it. I told her how she made me feel and of course she didn't admit that she did anything wrong, but she does treat me with a little more respect, because I think she knows that I can't be manipulated. Another time after we were just married, my Brother-in law's wife (her and I didn't get along for the longest time) we started talking and she told me what my SIL and MIL were saying about me behind my back and I confronted her about that too, we hadn't even been married a year yet. I went over to her house and said "what is this I hear about you saying ((Whatever, now I don't even remember)) behind my back. She ended up crying and saying how she wasn't appreciated or something like that, but my husband supported me and he offered to talk to her both times for me, but I wanted to handle it myself, it was between her and I. Your SIL on the other hand just seems a bit selfish so I don't know as though anything can be done about her, she I am sure wouldn't see it and would think you were crazy! I really hope it gets better. Have a sit down with you husband and tell him how they make you feel and ask him how he would feel if it was your fam doing it to him? I hope it gets better for you!!

linriyum said on 5/13/2009 10:47:45 AM Report this post
Oh hunny! I can really sympathize with you! I have very similar probs. with my in laws. When we go to family functions, you can cut the tension with a knife when mil and sil are there! Several points to make are on one hand, this is your family and child and you can parent however you want! People will have their opinions but if you have the nerve, just say "thanks for advise but I have my own style." Also, my sil acts like her kids are just hers most of the time...she forgets that her dh was part of it and the kids are half his! Just remember that they do want the best for you but when things get out of hand, you should have dh stick up for you and your family. Me and dh don't have the same probs. his bro does because his bro does't put his foot down with my mil and fil....my dh does and we have a good relationship!

The jealousy is annoying, I think everyone thinks it but not everyone else expresses it (like your sil). I think you should have DH talk to her and tell her to keep her issues to herself and respect your family.

I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of issues when we have kids! I'm just enjoying where we're at now.

Good luck and communicate!

garza74 said on 5/13/2009 10:58:22 AM Report this post
What's a diapercake?

tiffbethwood said on 5/13/2009 2:26:55 PM Report this post
hahahahaha a diapercake is a bunch of diapers made to look like a wedding cake!! They do it with towels too...cute shower gift lol

Mara04 said on 5/13/2009 2:45:18 PM Report this post
I hate my MIL but I tell her al the time she doesn't have to like me but she damn well has to respect me. She always tells me how much she hates me breastfeeding cause it's wrong and i'm a bad mother because I take medications and he should be on formula to save hislife. Yes, I take xanax on average of maybe 0.5mg twice a week for panic attacks. And you know what? I know when I have to take one so he has a previously pumped bottle til its out of my system. So she can butt out about that one. She is so full of crap it's hilarious. Last night she wnated to see Connor so bad so we went and she'd bought him his "first" trike. Ummm yeah he's 3, he's had once since he was a year and a half LOL But we let her have that one. She buys him al sorts of nice things but he can't have them. They have to stay at her house. As if she can bribe me to go out there? pfft please. When I was pregnant with Connor she told me he was for sure a boy. I said well how do you figure? She told me that her son only makes boys so if its a girl it wasn't his. I honeslty so badly wanted Connor to be a girl lol I'd have loved to tackle that one lol I get annoyed too thatmy husband doesn't defend me to them, he just says nothing which I hate. But he doesn't want to get into it with his mom because it can get nasty. They are in their 70's they don't have much time left he'd like to keep things civil at least that long. Honeslty he backs me by not going to see them much and he rarely calls her. He took care of her when she was suffering from cancer and she never lets him forget how it could have been better. My mom is a better mother to him than her. My family gave him his first Christmas and his first Birthday party. I hate that he never speaks up on my behalf butI know given a choice, he's taking me and my family over her. Shouldn't be a competition but he just can't stand her anymore. So you arent alone with the monster in laws. Hardest part is biting my own tongue lol

lalala said on 5/13/2009 7:11:40 PM Report this post
Wow,she seems like the dreaded SIL, you are definately strong,and i don't know how you haven't blown up at her yet.Don't listen to a thing she says,it seems like she's only trying to piss you off,and the more you don't show her,maybe it will stop soon? and if it doesn't,tear her a new you know what...keep being a great mother :)

Mara.. don't you just love the interfering MIL?? haha we all have our share of those ones eh.

sabby said on 5/13/2009 7:23:41 PM Report this post
I guess that I am very lucky that my husband will step in and put anyone in his family in line for me. My husband's family on his monthers side is just plain crazy and at least both of our families get along with his dad and mil. My family does treat dh better than his own and the sad thing is he knows it. Hang in there and you need to stop being nice to her say what you think to get it off your chest. :O)

Mara04 said on 5/13/2009 9:04:55 PM Report this post
My husband knows my MIL is full of hot air and I think he knows if she ever crosses a line I can defend myself lol I don't think I'd mind so much about her interfering except she will ignore us for like 3 months then all of the sudden she pops up gives opinions on thigns she knows nothing about then leaves again for 3 months! My god she can't even bother to be constant about it! LOL

sabby said on 5/13/2009 9:48:56 PM Report this post
Mara- that is funny the statment about not being consistant, you put a BIG SMILE on my face. Why does In laws hace to be such a pin in the a** . LOL

sabby said on 5/13/2009 9:49:36 PM Report this post
Opps I mean pain in the a**.

Mara04 said on 5/14/2009 10:55:57 PM Report this post
Well the way I see it, everyone needs a hobby LOL

OklahomaBabyG said on 5/18/2009 6:41:39 AM Report this post
You don't sound like the bitch. It is your SIL that sounds like one! If I were you I would have said something a long time ago and not cared if they got mad. I know that my sister gets that way and I tell her what I think about it lol. But then again I have never been one to put up with people's crap. I say what is on my mind and don't care what people think. I think you are very strong for putting up with all this. If you ever need to talk my e-mail address is footlooserocks@hotmail.com

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